Quick post

Hello friends.
This quick post is not exactly shows how busy I am. Yes, I should be busy. In the end I do nothing. The habit that should be removed long ago. I am still the old of me. Blame it to me.

It’s me

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For being good isn’t enough

Early in the morning. 3.49 am.

Dear friend.
I am struggling to be the better me. I’ve been wandering around but found nothing. Being good has been terribly hard, even more being good isn’t enough. I have to put humble before it. But you know, I hardly failed every time I try being good. Sometimes I think that my resolve isn’t strong enough to push me forward, and my faith isn’t big enough for being the force that pull me up from my fallen.

‘What should I do?’ or ‘what had to be done?’ are the questions that has covering my head lately.

Yeah, one time I will think, I will do this so I can be like this. I will do that so I will more understand this tricky field. Or I will arrange this and that so I can be more aware for what to be done first and what should be leave behind. But in other time, I am doing nothing but playing around.

Dear friend,
I am not asking you to understand the situations I’m in now. I just want to write down the things that has spinning around lately on my head. In fact, I’ve tried but failed. Then came along the guilty feeling where I am usually facing difficulty to handle it.

I know, you might say: “you can do it!” or “just hang on there, every situation has its own solution” or “little by little you will overcome it.”

I do, I do. I want to believe that I can do it too. However, things are not recently friendly with me. I have to face it by the way.

Anyway. Thanks for being my friend. I know you’ve tried so hard to be good. So am I. But let’s put humble before it.

It’s me.

4.11 am

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2 years passed

26th was the day of my 2 years in Korea.

What’s new?

It’s been 2 years since I came Korea for pursuing my dream – though I’m not sure about it now. Come to Korea without really know what will you do for study or what exactly will you learn, certainly will lead you facing several task that you really not understand or in short you have no idea what you are doing.
I have passed 2 years in study, did this and that in the experiment, wrote this and that for conference, spoke this and that too in conference, seminar, etc. But still I’ve accomplished nothing in terms of achievements. I know what should be done while doing this, but still I don’t really understand what it means.
As the second year of my study, I was forced to do more than the first year I was here. Not only because my Professor had asked me to do many things but even for myself, I want to do something that I can accomplished. In the end, I’ve done things but accomplished nothing. What exactly should I do and what exactly the condition I have to is the thing that still running in my head.
I found myself drown and moreover I don’t even know what my goal now. I have separated from the world I engage to and have astray from the path I should have to. Therefore, I am not what I want and I’m not what I should be. I need a turning point, but still I am walking and running on the circle path that has drown me up to now. I need help.
Two years has passed and more years to come. I need a change. I need a helper. I want to be the best of me. I must do what have to be done. Yes, I need my God. I have separated from Him, I have pushed Him away from my heart, I have done terrible things that hurt His heart. I just too scared; I am a hypocrite after all.

Hope for tomorrow

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Wishes in New Year

Hola.. hola..
It’s me again. Come to you my friends to post another story of me. I bet you all really eager to wait the new post,aren’t you? hahahahaha.. When narcissism come on the spot. 😉

As I have promised to you in my last post, I will write here something I want to have or I want to do in this year. So this is it. I really hope All of this wishes will come true in the end. But If not, at least I have to do my best. To copy what Monkey D. Luffy said in one of One Piece series: “If I die when pursuing it, so be it. If you risk your life maybe you can create the future”.

I know, these resolution or wishes seem to be difficult especially in my first wish. Moreover I’ve been struggling lately to win but still I failed and fell. I think I’ve chose not to obey and it’s more even difficult for me. You know, become a disciple in Christ is always difficult but that makes it worth and in the end, if I can finish my race I will be very happy.
So, after several days of thinking my resolution this year and what wishes I have, I write down here for you my friends. I hope you will remind me of everything I’d wrote here if you can help me.

Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.” Proverbs 19:21

My wishes and the things I want in 2011
1. Be a good disciple and good student
Being a good disciple was my desire and I think I have to pop it up again. Being a Christian who has been received Jesus Christ as my Savior; I must train myself to be a good disciple. On behalf of that, few years ago I was trying so much to be like that, but recently my life has been far away from that. I’ve abandoned the things what matters to be a good disciple. Pray, read the bible, meditation and silent time, and Bible Study are almost gone from my daily life. So I can say that I have been strayed from my Shepherd but now I am eagerly want to back again to the flock. Therefore this year, I wish I can renew my spirit and an enthusiasm in these things. Though I know that would be so difficult, I have to try and try again till I am improved and become a good fighter.
Being a good student actually should be the matter of case since I am a student. I’ve been passed 2 years of my study hear as integrated student in PhD program, however what I’ve got still not satisfied me so also my Professor. Not even reach the point of satisfaction but maybe I, myself, am not doing it well and have wasted so many times to procrastinate. This year I want to start to be a good student and use my time carefully and meaningful.
These wishes will be fully affect all the things that come to me in this year. I believe it so.
2. Published 2 papers about the research
I think this wish is a matter of the result of my perseverance and tenacity of doing my research and study. So if I can do my 1st wish, I will achieve it in a good time of God. Therefore, I will do my best and start to obey every schedule I have decided to do and pursuing every part that I don’t know yet in my field. Reading, reading, reading, do, do, and do.
3. A Girlfriend
I know this wish is too suspicious, but blame me; I am still a man and 27 years old this April. LOL. I want to have a good life in the future; it means I need a girl to accompany me. I need a girl who sits close to me and I also sit close to her. Therefore, as a two person become one flesh in the Lord we can fulfill the vision which God has for us. I’ve been thinking, this wish could be the hard one. Since I am here, stay in Korea. Find a girl who has the vision that can help each other will be difficult, but I think I will put this wish here so I can pray more.
4. Guitar
Music is the thing that has helps me cheer up my happiness and support my mellow side up to now. Why I want a guitar? I have two main reasons for this. Firstly, I want to improve my skill. I’ve playing guitar since junior high school and I’ve wrote some songs however my skill still on the low level. At least my thrum melody skill should be improved this year. Secondly reason maybe a ‘lame’ reason but this reason could go along the first reason. Sometimes I can feel like there is a melody in my heart and words in my mind so that I can write a poem that can be a song. In that case I need guitar to follow the lyrics and the melody. I wish I can have guitar soon, probably in February. Amen
5. Conference in Europe
This wish actually will be hard to accomplish since my professor is America minded and rarely think to have a conference in Europe. Anyway I only just put this here in order to embrace myself for doing the best in my research. I wish and I do.

Plans are established by seeking advice; so if you wage war, obtain guidance.” Proverbs 20:18

So, let it be what will come.

Evening shall become my friend

It’s me

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Happy New Year 2011

Hey fellas,
We meet again in this new year 2011. So it’s better for me to greet you with Happy New Year 2011. Hope you enjoy your day and be happy in this year too.

New Year has come

It’s a good time for you and I to make plans for the whole year or probably in the next few years ahead. Me myself is trying to wrap up all the things in my mine and put in into reality. I will tell you later the things I want to accomplish and the things I want to have along the 2011. Later.

Sunrise 2011

Still stay tune my friend

Oh ya, before then I have to say Merry Christmas too although it’s passed but I did not say it before I’d better say it. Since also, Christmas will stay forever in our heart because He had born in our heart.

See you fellas.

It’s me

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Eight crazy nights

Hello fellas.
I’m back again.

This story a lil bit mellow since it refers to the movie I gonna tell you. So grab your handkerchief or tissue close to you while you are reading this post. 🙂

I’ve seen this movie before years ago. I was watched it late at night while still in Indonesia. I guess I could not sleep at that time. The habit that still follow me till now, moreover it becomes worse and worse. For the same reason as usual, I could not sleep early last night. I tried to finish my presentation for today lab meeting. Unfortunately, I could not finish it because of the video of my experiments result could not be opened in my laptop. My laptop using Windows 7 and also it’s in Korean. Another method that I am trying how to learn Korean but still not shown any good progress. So you may guess what the real problem is. 😀

Back to the movie.
This movie is the movie that can make me sob like a little child crying for something he/she wants to be granted. Though it’s a cartoon, somehow it’s can touch my deepest feeling and push my tears off from my eyes. As the result, last night I was cried back in my blanket and tried to wipe it out of my face. For the second time I watched this movie still for the second time I cried after watched it.
I just don’t know why, but the reality I cried.

For sort, it is best for you to watch it on your own.
You may have different perspective than mine. I think is same for every situation, everybody has their own perspective according to their life of value and also their experience.

    “When you’ve tried so hard to do the good things but still others don’t acknowledge it or they are even more see it as a play up for something, then it’s time for you to withdraw and give your heart a pleasant of its own”
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I’m so fragile and moody

My friend, with this quick post, I just wanna tell you that I’m so fragile and moody. Small thing can ruin my day. I have begin today with a good start but small thing that I found in my lab has ruined my day, most all my day. arrghh….
I have planned to do many things but the result is zero. Nothing accomplished. What a moody emotion and fragile spirit and passion.

I just wanna go home now, I hope tomorrow will be better. I had setup all the things for the experiment.

Oh passion, tenacity, and friends come to me!!!! Come to your master!!! hahahaha….

I want to finish everything this week. I just don’t want to be a looser.

아짜~아짜~~화이팅!!!~~~

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Link list to make my day

How will I start this post? 😕
Thinking..thinking…. Eung…Eung….

Okay, it’s came up.

My friend, I would like to start this post with this.

www.this-is-my-story.com/v/9UM5DXT232XC.

I got this link from my friend post in Facebook. Just base on the curiosity since this friend usually likes so many things and click the like button on Facebook for every page. So, I tried to fill up the blank and upload the photo. At first I was tried to avoid the junk or something that is not good by uploading something on one website we don’t know for sure. But after I saw the video, I was so eager to repeat upload the good picture of me to this video. Actually, this is not my dream that I want it in the future, but this idea make me feel want to realize more about my dream. Also, I admire the idea of making this kind of movie. In the end, if you wanna try it just hit the link and the remaining part is on your own.

Another thing that I want to share is this link:
http://www.phdcomics.com/comics.php
*maybe the title of this post could be link list. hihihi…

Since I found this link, up to now I always eager to wait the new scene of this comic. I admire him by making this comic so real, I bet that he must be experience some of it or he might saw it in others experiences. I like this comic because maybe I have some of the scene in my real life, and the interesting thing is he make it as a humor story so we might laugh at ourselves. Whether you are a PhD student or not, this comic will make your day enjoyable. 🙂

I think I will stop here, just wanna make a quick post. I am trying to enjoy every single step that come up in front of me. I hope that you enjoy your every step too my friend. Let’s do it!!

It’s still me, and always be.

See ya.

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Hello my friend we meet again

“Hello my friend we meet again

It’s been a while where should we begin?

Feels like forever”

…….

I want to start this post with this lyric, because it’s been two months I’ve abandoned this blog as well as you my friend. I’m so sorry that I could not won the battle between me and my procrastination to post something in this blog. Well, besides my laziness I admit that my life have been flat so far like a flat plane in 3 dimension room without any angle of inclination. But anyway, that should not be my main reason to tell you my story.

As usual, within my research, I’ve been done nothing significant. Sometimes it really makes me feel horrible and feels like I’m doing a useless thing. Even my Professor worries about my research since I’ve been here for almost two years but still I can’t not write any publication paper regarding to my research. Always take long sigh when it comes too research. So, let’s skip it and move to another story. 😀

In these last two months I had several experienced but I will just tell you two of them. Firstly, it’s the story about Fireworks in Seoul. I’ve heard about it few weeks before and I was intended to go there for taking some pictures. Fortunately I was there at the D-day and took some pictures even though I was late to go there and stuck on the people traffic jam. As my ankle still has problem at that time, I was struggling to flee myself from the crowd. Here is some pictures that I’ve taken. Apparently, it’s not really good I think. So, next year I hope I can get the better position to take picture.

Fireworks at Seoul

I wish I was that guy with his girlfriend

While editing and writing this post I more realize that my spot that time is really terrible for taking pictures. I will be more prepare and aware next year. 🙂

Perhaps if you see this video you can more enjoy what I had seen. Though it’s not the whole part good but hopefully some parts of it can make you happy. Here it is.

The second things I had in last two weeks just happened several days ago. I was joined one of competition as soccer player, which is called as a Seoul Foreign Student Union. Though it’s a foreign student union but it’s not exactly like that, since most of the student there were Chinese. Even the announcement of every match is in Chinese, not even in Korea in which I can probably a bit understand it. Anyway, since I joined as soccer team for foreign student from Konkuk University whereas most of them are Chinese so in the end we didn’t really care anymore. We were happy to be the Champion and we got the prizes. We got the T-shirt and we got the ticket for FC Seoul vs Daejon FC this weekend. Can’t wait to see it this Sunday.

Champion Prizes

As I start it with the lyric of ‘My Sacrifice’ by Creed. I will end this post by also the end part lyric of this song. So see you again on my next post.

………..

“I just want to say hello again

I just want to say hello again”

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Wrap up all things

Hola my friend!
Here I come again with my story(ies). I think I have to divide this story in to several parts. As I have told you in my last post, I have many things to tell you. Hope this post can cover all the things but if it’s not, I apologize for that.
Okay then, let me start with the WC 2010 thing, and than I will tell you about my ‘battle’ for getting permission to visited Indonesia from my Prof. After that, I will tell you about what I had when visited Indonesia, and the last one after arrive here in Korea.

Part 1. World Cup 2010
As you may know, Spain got the title and most of my prediction were correct. The missing award is only the Best Player that went to Diego Forlan from Uruguay. Oh ya, I also missed the young player award whose went to Muller from Germany. He made 5 goals as same as Villa and Sneijder.
The final game was going tough since it decided by the extra time game. And the only goal was happened at 116th minutes in second half extra time by Andreas Iniesta. As we all Indonesian students gather in my friend’s lab, we were shouting “Goal” and it’s made the room noisy. Of course not all of us chose Spain as favorite team, some of my friends were disappointed with the result. For me, that was a very good result. hahaha..

However, we all criticized Spain Coach Del Bosque because he put almost Barcelona players as starting line up. There were 7 Barcelona players as starting line up. At that time we think he doesn’t have to be a Spain Coach but Pep Guardiola does. hehe..
Anyway, the result was Spain became the World Champion and combined 2 prestigious event in a row. Euro Cup 2008 and World Cup 2010.
Congrats to Spain as a Champion and Fair Play team, Casillas as a Best Goal Keeper. Forlan as Best Player, and Muller as a Best young player. Oops, almost forgot, congrats to Villa, Sneijder, and Muller as Top Scorers. *though the committee chose Muller since he assisted 3 goals.

Part 2 Struggling for Permission

During WC 2010, I was doing the same thing everyday. Doing experiments after experiments. Actually, WC 2010 had helped me to stay awake in the midnight therefore I could done my experiments from midnight until morning. And in the morning I could report the result to my Prof although he always said the results were not enough to be presented at the conference.

Three weeks before my departure time, I told him that I had a plan to visited Indonesia. He could not agree at the first time I told him 3 weeks in Indonesia and also he said also that I didn’t have enough data for the conference. Since that day, I was doing experiments after experiments until a day before I left to Indonesia. As I remember, I had reported him the summary of my result though it’s not in power point file. However, maybe because he had many things to do, he sometimes forgot several things. 😀

I brought all my experiments data and departed to Indonesia. I borrowed my friend’s Ext HDD since my ext HDD was not enough space anymore. I put some films too and brought it all to Indonesia. I departed from Incheon to Kuala Lumpur and than to Jakarta.

These are the photos when I was waiting for the airplane at the airport.

Breakfast and Coffee

Part 3 Indonesia “Jakarta-Bandung-Medan-Siborongborong”

Arrived in Soetta afternoon and have no gadget to call. With the flight delayed around 30 minutes, my friends looked for me. So they asked my friend in Korea when was my flight from Seoul. hahaha… I became source of troubles for my friend.
Finally, I could reached my friend by phone through the public phone and asked her how to get to her house. After taking bus around 45 minutes, I arrived in bus terminal and she picked me up together with her husband. Realized that I might feel hungry, they bring me to traditional restaurant that served Bataknese cuisine. One shot has done in one night. hahaha…

I stayed at their house one night and continued my trip to Bandung early in the morning. I had to be thankful for all their help and their supports. I arrived at Bandung and went directly to soccer field and played soccer with my high school alumnae. At 11 o’clock, I had to back to my ex-house so I could prepared for graduation day of my Small Group member that I led when I was there. As usual, ITB graduation day is always attractive and many beautiful girls will show up as co-graduates. Therefore it was excellence and worth it lah. hahaha…

These are the photos of me and my Small Group.

Alumnae and Girls

Having good time in Bandung and back to Jakarta for the next trip to Medan. I met my sister in Bandung, friends, and also my brothers and sisters in Christ. Thanks for that.

Part 4 Medan and Siborongborong – Family and care

There in Medan I found myself gain weight around 6 kilogram :). Since my family fed me well and I had more than enough sleep as counter of losing time for experiments and WC2010. hahaha..

I stayed in Medan 3 days before went to Sibrorongborong, and still I could say, Medan is not my place to live :D. After 8 hours trip from Medan to Siborongborong *fiuh long journey, longer than Seoul-Jakarta* arrived in Siborongborong at night. Kissed my mom and my dad and shared my trip and give them some gift from Seoul. Oh ya, I give all my family gift from Seoul and souvenirs also. I bought 2 shirts, Korean Football Jersey, for my nephews and many other things.

Happy Family with fun dogs.

Trip with my sisters

After stayed at home without go anywhere, than I visited my senior high school. I went there twice and shared to the students there how is the life in abroad. I was so impressed that they could listen to my sharing and I was so happy that I could do such a thing. Because it was my first time and I really surprised to myself too. 😉

Soposurung Foundation

Lumban Silintong, Toba Lake

Two weeks at home is never enough always very short. Really wanna have it longer and longer. hehe.. But time flies and I have to go to Seoul again.
Back to Medan 3 days before departure flight. My parents followed 2 days later. Again, Medan was too hot that time and think nowadays too. Not my City. But it help me actually before live again in Seoul with hot summer season. 🙂
My father and mother, my brother, his wife and son, and my youngest sister accompany me to the airport and saw me depart.

Part 5 Seoul – Busan and Conference

Arrived at Seoul, directly got many questions from Prof and have prepared for lab seminar and domestic conference in Busan. Within 3 days I have to made everything ready and yet I still got the ‘advice’ from Prof.
In Lab seminar I presented my idea about the new research that I wanna do and got the correction this and that. Since I did not prepared it well, I didn’t got the price from my Prof. He said it 1 month before the lab seminar. I didn’t pay much attention to that since I still have many things to be done in my research. So it’s obvious if I did not get it. 🙂
A day after I still had time to prepare more for my presentation at the conference, but the thing was I don’t know anymore to put in my slides. Therefore my presentation was same as I prepared before.
At the D-day, I was really nervous since the presenter before me was really excellent and has very good research. In the end, I finished it and answer only one question. I could say, I didn’t presented it well.
As I always said, hard time is always has the good things. Conference in Busan was near to the Heundae beach. So you probably know what I mean. 😉

Lab Seminar and Conference in Busan

I think that’s all the things that I can wrap up for you. Hope it eye-read and easy to understand. 😀

So, see you again in another story.

It’s me

Categories: Sepenggal Kisah | 3 Comments

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