Sepenggal Kisah

No title

Hola My Friend.

I feel so bored today. Have no desire to do anything.
Though I have many things to tell, but hardly can tell you. Different from all other story, I want to write it later just to satisfy your curiosity.

너무 심심해서 김태희닷컴을 계속 계속 봐요. Click here

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PhD Candidate?

Hello friend,

I am here again, as usual as before coming late at the end of the month. Actually, I was planning to tell you my story last Saturday on 28th of April as my 28th years started. But unfortunately, I had no time to sit and to write my story. So, here it comes. Hope you again, enjoy the story. 🙂

First thing that I want to share is I am a PhD candidate officially. Why? I had passed the qualification exams as I almost finish my courses and chose 4 courses as subjects for the qualification exam. Plus, as a student in Korea, I have to take an English exam as a prequisite for graduation. So I took both exams and passed it. So then, officially I am a PhD candidate now. In the way of reaching a half way to the top, I should have been really enjoying my achievement. I do glad that I passed it and glad that I am a PhD candidate, however since I just switched my research topic and done ‘nothing’ – paper and etc -, I feel ashamed to hold the title. Actually, some times I feel like I can do this, but on the other hand like there is a voice that keep telling I can’t do it. Refer to the things have passed, it’s inevitable for me to feel down. But here I am, I am what I am right now. And I should thank God for everything.

Qualification exam announcement

English exam

The second thing that I want to tell you is that I started my 28th years in this world. It’s a good number because it’s same as the day I was born. I planned to make many things different in that day but apparently I didn’t. One thing that done is shaved my mustache and beard. Other thing still in halt and wait to be done. Perhaps I have more time to write down in another day.

Up to here, that’s the things I can share. See you next time.

It’s me.

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Hi there,

I’m here again.
Since I have nothing to do right now, despite many things stuck on my table in front of me, I would like to bring to you something different from all the stories had been told here. Something that I usually do when some words inside my head appeared and want to be written in paper or typed on the computer.

I like poetry. I do. In poetry, sometimes nothing is close up or nothing is clearly open to the reader. I said this because for certain poet you can only read and you know the story or the purpose of the poet to be written. But for general, to understand poet, you must have some ‘tools’ to explore it. Mainly because all the poets hid the meaning or the purpose of their poet behind their words and sentences.
The beauty of the poem is you can enjoy poets just by reading it, listening to the person who is reading it. Although you don’t know the meaning but sometimes you can feel it.

The tools I mentioned before could be the background of the writer or the year or the story that happened during the poet been made. We will more understand the poet by explore it word by word and find the meaning of each word and then link it to the other tools that we have. If you are in Literature field you will have more tools to learn how to understand a poetry or a poem.
Because we live in a ‘technological world’, we can find any information we like regarding our interest. If you are interested in poem or poetry you can find it easy through internet.

As I like poetry then I write a poem. As I like poem then I read the poetry. Hope that I will be the poet and I will be a poet. 🙂
Here is my poem today. (You can see my other poems in here)

Kau yang jadi cerita

Kau kupandang jauh di sana
Di balik awan di seberang lautan

Kau kumau dekat di sini
Di sampingku dekat denganku

Kau kurindu segenap hatiku
Di dalam angan di peluk buaian

Kau kumau dalam dekapku
Di dadaku erat peluk hangatmu

Kau yang jauh
Kau yang dirindu
Kau yang dekat
Kau yang dicinta

Kau jadi cerita cinta selalu
Bagi pujangga penyair cinta

Roughly can be translated:

You that have been the story

You, the one that I see from a far
Behind the sky across the wide sea

You, the one that I want to be near
Beside me, close to me

You, the one that I miss with all my heart
Within my fantasy inside my mind

You, the one that I want to hold tight
In my chest with your warm heart

You, who have been far away
You, who have been missed
You, who have been closed to
You, who have been loved

You, the one that have been the story of love
For a poet to create their love

It’s me

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3 years

Yes, 3 years already.
I am still here, different atmosphere, new lab, new research topic, new Professor, new room, etc.
For short, everything has change from the very first time.

Now, here I am. Don’t know still where the future will bring me to.
Sometimes hopeless, discourage, and feel empty. But anyway, I’m still here and I’m still alive.

It’s me.

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Making amends to you

Hola friends,

I beg your pardon for all of the promises I’ve said to you but none of it has been fulfilled. This post might not be the post you are waiting for, but I will post this one as one of the amends of my promises. I know I promised to tell the story about my experience with the kids in soccer camp this year as I had experience 2 years ago.

Here I will only post the pictures I have, taken by a very good photographer. Hopefully you can see the joy and happiness of togetherness, love, passion, and sharing with others. Like people say: “picture tells a thousands story”

Practice time

Happiness in togetherness

"Trust Fall Game" They are trustworthy

Play, compete, and celebrate

Click on the figure if you want to see real size image.
One of my friend also made the video about this camp. You can see it on the video below.

All credits to Tanya and John Choi for the pictures and video.

Again, I don’t know whether this is enough as my amend to you my friends. See you again.

God bless you always.

It’s me

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Asking forgiveness

Hello friends,

Pardon me for being so absent from this story of mine lately. Seems I have to arrange all the things that pop up in my mind randomly. I have a lot of story but I have only few words. Besides, it fells to unpack my story becomes somehow difficult recently. Probably I have to readjust my heart and mine, so that I can unpack the story I have. I don’t know how.
I’ll try as soon as possible to write again and please be patient to me. okay.
Wait for my story in Soccer Camp 2011 like I had 2 years ago.

It’s me.

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For being good isn’t enough

Early in the morning. 3.49 am.

Dear friend.
I am struggling to be the better me. I’ve been wandering around but found nothing. Being good has been terribly hard, even more being good isn’t enough. I have to put humble before it. But you know, I hardly failed every time I try being good. Sometimes I think that my resolve isn’t strong enough to push me forward, and my faith isn’t big enough for being the force that pull me up from my fallen.

‘What should I do?’ or ‘what had to be done?’ are the questions that has covering my head lately.

Yeah, one time I will think, I will do this so I can be like this. I will do that so I will more understand this tricky field. Or I will arrange this and that so I can be more aware for what to be done first and what should be leave behind. But in other time, I am doing nothing but playing around.

Dear friend,
I am not asking you to understand the situations I’m in now. I just want to write down the things that has spinning around lately on my head. In fact, I’ve tried but failed. Then came along the guilty feeling where I am usually facing difficulty to handle it.

I know, you might say: “you can do it!” or “just hang on there, every situation has its own solution” or “little by little you will overcome it.”

I do, I do. I want to believe that I can do it too. However, things are not recently friendly with me. I have to face it by the way.

Anyway. Thanks for being my friend. I know you’ve tried so hard to be good. So am I. But let’s put humble before it.

It’s me.

4.11 am

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2 years passed

26th was the day of my 2 years in Korea.

What’s new?

It’s been 2 years since I came Korea for pursuing my dream – though I’m not sure about it now. Come to Korea without really know what will you do for study or what exactly will you learn, certainly will lead you facing several task that you really not understand or in short you have no idea what you are doing.
I have passed 2 years in study, did this and that in the experiment, wrote this and that for conference, spoke this and that too in conference, seminar, etc. But still I’ve accomplished nothing in terms of achievements. I know what should be done while doing this, but still I don’t really understand what it means.
As the second year of my study, I was forced to do more than the first year I was here. Not only because my Professor had asked me to do many things but even for myself, I want to do something that I can accomplished. In the end, I’ve done things but accomplished nothing. What exactly should I do and what exactly the condition I have to is the thing that still running in my head.
I found myself drown and moreover I don’t even know what my goal now. I have separated from the world I engage to and have astray from the path I should have to. Therefore, I am not what I want and I’m not what I should be. I need a turning point, but still I am walking and running on the circle path that has drown me up to now. I need help.
Two years has passed and more years to come. I need a change. I need a helper. I want to be the best of me. I must do what have to be done. Yes, I need my God. I have separated from Him, I have pushed Him away from my heart, I have done terrible things that hurt His heart. I just too scared; I am a hypocrite after all.

Hope for tomorrow

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Wishes in New Year

Hola.. hola..
It’s me again. Come to you my friends to post another story of me. I bet you all really eager to wait the new post,aren’t you? hahahahaha.. When narcissism come on the spot. 😉

As I have promised to you in my last post, I will write here something I want to have or I want to do in this year. So this is it. I really hope All of this wishes will come true in the end. But If not, at least I have to do my best. To copy what Monkey D. Luffy said in one of One Piece series: “If I die when pursuing it, so be it. If you risk your life maybe you can create the future”.

I know, these resolution or wishes seem to be difficult especially in my first wish. Moreover I’ve been struggling lately to win but still I failed and fell. I think I’ve chose not to obey and it’s more even difficult for me. You know, become a disciple in Christ is always difficult but that makes it worth and in the end, if I can finish my race I will be very happy.
So, after several days of thinking my resolution this year and what wishes I have, I write down here for you my friends. I hope you will remind me of everything I’d wrote here if you can help me.

Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.” Proverbs 19:21

My wishes and the things I want in 2011
1. Be a good disciple and good student
Being a good disciple was my desire and I think I have to pop it up again. Being a Christian who has been received Jesus Christ as my Savior; I must train myself to be a good disciple. On behalf of that, few years ago I was trying so much to be like that, but recently my life has been far away from that. I’ve abandoned the things what matters to be a good disciple. Pray, read the bible, meditation and silent time, and Bible Study are almost gone from my daily life. So I can say that I have been strayed from my Shepherd but now I am eagerly want to back again to the flock. Therefore this year, I wish I can renew my spirit and an enthusiasm in these things. Though I know that would be so difficult, I have to try and try again till I am improved and become a good fighter.
Being a good student actually should be the matter of case since I am a student. I’ve been passed 2 years of my study hear as integrated student in PhD program, however what I’ve got still not satisfied me so also my Professor. Not even reach the point of satisfaction but maybe I, myself, am not doing it well and have wasted so many times to procrastinate. This year I want to start to be a good student and use my time carefully and meaningful.
These wishes will be fully affect all the things that come to me in this year. I believe it so.
2. Published 2 papers about the research
I think this wish is a matter of the result of my perseverance and tenacity of doing my research and study. So if I can do my 1st wish, I will achieve it in a good time of God. Therefore, I will do my best and start to obey every schedule I have decided to do and pursuing every part that I don’t know yet in my field. Reading, reading, reading, do, do, and do.
3. A Girlfriend
I know this wish is too suspicious, but blame me; I am still a man and 27 years old this April. LOL. I want to have a good life in the future; it means I need a girl to accompany me. I need a girl who sits close to me and I also sit close to her. Therefore, as a two person become one flesh in the Lord we can fulfill the vision which God has for us. I’ve been thinking, this wish could be the hard one. Since I am here, stay in Korea. Find a girl who has the vision that can help each other will be difficult, but I think I will put this wish here so I can pray more.
4. Guitar
Music is the thing that has helps me cheer up my happiness and support my mellow side up to now. Why I want a guitar? I have two main reasons for this. Firstly, I want to improve my skill. I’ve playing guitar since junior high school and I’ve wrote some songs however my skill still on the low level. At least my thrum melody skill should be improved this year. Secondly reason maybe a ‘lame’ reason but this reason could go along the first reason. Sometimes I can feel like there is a melody in my heart and words in my mind so that I can write a poem that can be a song. In that case I need guitar to follow the lyrics and the melody. I wish I can have guitar soon, probably in February. Amen
5. Conference in Europe
This wish actually will be hard to accomplish since my professor is America minded and rarely think to have a conference in Europe. Anyway I only just put this here in order to embrace myself for doing the best in my research. I wish and I do.

Plans are established by seeking advice; so if you wage war, obtain guidance.” Proverbs 20:18

So, let it be what will come.

Evening shall become my friend

It’s me

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Happy New Year 2011

Hey fellas,
We meet again in this new year 2011. So it’s better for me to greet you with Happy New Year 2011. Hope you enjoy your day and be happy in this year too.

New Year has come

It’s a good time for you and I to make plans for the whole year or probably in the next few years ahead. Me myself is trying to wrap up all the things in my mine and put in into reality. I will tell you later the things I want to accomplish and the things I want to have along the 2011. Later.

Sunrise 2011

Still stay tune my friend

Oh ya, before then I have to say Merry Christmas too although it’s passed but I did not say it before I’d better say it. Since also, Christmas will stay forever in our heart because He had born in our heart.

See you fellas.

It’s me

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