Sepenggal Kisah

Menata kembali


2015, sudah lewat tanpa sebuah ceritapun tertulis di sini. Salahkan saya, karena sepertinya saya tak ingin berbagi cerita denganmu. Walau sebenarnya ada banyak cerita yang seharusnya kubagikan denganmu, entah mengapa tak ada niat untuk menuliskan cerita untukmu. Hasilnya? ya, tak ada satu pun cerita di tahun 2015 ini untukmu.

Let me give you a quick update.
1. I graduated and now responsible to the PhD title. Yeah, after 6 years grumbling about it, finally 12th December 2014 I passed the thesis defense, 22nd Feb 2015, my name was called in the commemoration ceremony as a PhD.



2. After 6 months looking for job, I was accepted in a small company in Anyang, still in Korea, but like the suburban of Seoul. Not too bad I guess. Just have to ‘eat my heart’ every time have an argument with my Boss. haha.

Yeah, that what’s new about me now. Almost 6 months working in the company, the urge to go back to Indonesia is getting bigger. It looks like I am forgetting my dreams to wander somewhere before going back to Indonesia. So I’m trying to get it back together recently, to see where will I end up next. Menata ulang lah, mimpi-mimpi, harapan, hati, cinta, all of them. 🙂

Anyway, good to see you again.
Hope, I will give you more update about me in the future.

So see ya..

It’s me


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Being so uncertain

Hi there friend,

It’s been 3 months huh? Okay this post will be short and simple.
Just want to make this blog still has some stories to continue. Recently, I have the feeling so uncertain about what to do after this study over. I always tell people that I will probably find job here in Korea, but part of me still not sure where to go. This feeling sure affects me on how I work with my papers and dissertation. One paper is finished but still not submitted; ‘high end’ is still busy, second paper still no writing progress, dissertation still has to wait the sign from the ‘high end’. Not to tell, the high and low of ‘heart’ pumping rate, still no progress. Seems so uncertain.

It’s me.

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2 weeks of new year!

Hola my friend, ~~ howdy!

It’s been a long time since my last story about my journey. I think it’s obvious that I am to lazy to write it down, or maybe I don’t really want to share it. hehehe. Anyway, today is the 14th day of this year, so it means 2 weeks has passed and needs another 50 weeks to finish 2014 and then go to 2015. Still long to go if we count it, but short if we just pass it every week. Truth!. What I want to say is though 2 weeks has passed but my works are not going anywhere, still stagnant since last year. Giving the time, I should have done at least finish writing one paper and should have started to write the second paper. Since the first paper has been started ages ago, all I have to do is to revise the mathematical model and compare the experiment result with the simulation result. However, all I have done now still wandering around this mathematical model, though it’s finish now. Thank God. Now, I can re-write this paper. Fighting!

Like last year I don’t want to make any list for my resolutions for this year. I made it before like in this post, but look what I got, nothing. I could not accomplished any of it. Since that, I stop to make the list of resolutions and just do whatever good to be true. Last year 2013 perhaps is the year with many colors in my life since I came here to Korea. As a student sometimes, I stuck with the everyday routine even on the weekend and holidays. Stay in the lab, do the research thingy, sleep, and spend the time at my small cubical room. But last year I think, I have variety of activities. Thanks to many friends in Church especially Indonesian friend, spending time with them after the service had made my weekend not so lame and plain. Those laughter and sharing time are precious for me. Hope to have it again in this year. Though, unlikely so, since many of us become busier than before.

Became addicted to since played together with Indonesian friend from Church.

Became addicted to since played together with Indonesian friend from Church.

Another color that happened last year, I guess trip to Japan. After almost 5 times of Chuseok always stay in Seoul, finally I could go out of Seoul for the first time since came to Korea. Memorable, hectic, almost gave up on visa application, almost stuck in immigration out of Korea, but end up with a 5 days unforgettable trip. Osaka – Kyoto – Tokyo were covered. Yeay!! Make me want to go again to Japan especially Osaka and Kyoto. But I need to go to Europe first before making trip again to Japan. Finland, wait for me! hahaha.

Metro line ticket in Tokyo

Metro line ticket in Tokyo

Back to Korea from Japan, I actually had to prepare trip to India for Conference in Unmanned Vehicle area. Though my paper is not related to unmanned vehicle, but it accepted anyway. So I went there, presented the paper, had trip to Agra, Taj-Mahal, -the famous palace which I only knew back then from books since elementary school-. Not bad for India trip I guess. Since India most likely like Indonesia in terms weather, I did not expect to much from the trip. But it turned out to be okay I think. By the way, I was really not into this conference since it’s not related to my research field, and it’s in India. So, while preparing it, I kind of making fun of it and not prepared the paper well. Long story short, Prof scolded me and I had to make the paper looks good. 🙂

Taj Mahal Palace

Taj Mahal Palace

I think, that would sum up the colors of my life last year. Of course I had this research experiment in the towing tank almost every week for three months, but it will be to boring to share it here again and again. This study have to finish this semester. Write two papers, submit, thesis, and then graduate. Amin!!

Oh yeah, I finally get my guitar, bought it second hand but I think it’s quite good and no regret. Other thing that comes this new year is smartphone!!! hahaha. I finally decided to buy smartphone, though my last phone still available. After gave it some thoughts, decided to have smartphone and hope I will use it wisely.

Hmmm… So that’s it for this post. See you again.

It’s me

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Last Day 2013

2014 is on the corner of the day, 2013 is nearly finished.
Another year passed, another year comes. Don’t know exactly what to do, but surely, I have to survive! hahaha..

Goodbye 2013!

It’s been a different year than any other years in Korea. High and low, I have made it through. Thank you!

Welcome 2014!

I expect more from you. Let’s do it together!!


Happy New Year 2014!!

It’s me

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Lab Meeting Day

Hola my friend,

Just like the other day of lab meeting day, one day before, I usually stay late just to prepare what to present the day after. So here I am, right now, writing this post and leaving my presentation slide for tomorrow. Lab meeting day is a meeting where all of the students of our lab have to present something in front of Prof and others students what he/she has done in a whole week. For your information, I have done nothing this week. Especially related to the paper I want to submit to the journal. I’ve done nothing!!! I should have done with the data analysis, or at least done with the abstract and introduction for the paper. However, nothing is done!!! what a lazy PhD candidate I am.

Seriously, I don’t know the purpose of this post, maybe I just want to write something but nothing is correct now in this head. So if you find this post unstructured, yeah you got it. Deal with it. hahaha…

Okay, let’s back to the beginning. Where was I? ah still in Lab meeting problem. Okay. This week my plan was to finish ordering motor driver for experiment, visa application for conference, and extend my alien card. I only finish one, the third one will be done tomorrow, and the first one just not getting it right. You know, sometimes you feel the frustration of being a foreigner in the lab, when you want to buy something for your reset and you have to rely on your Korean friend to do it. It’s just okay if your lab mates are not busy, but if they do? You just waste your time on doing it. But my problem actually because of the company that we want to buy their product always delay the information reply, so we have to wait and ask again through phone. Such a wasting time this week. Finally today, we received the information of the product and will order it tomorrow.

So, back to lab meeting. I don’t have anything to report tomorrow. Maybe I will just runaway tomorrow with the visa and alien card extension. hahaha..

Deal with it!!! *ntah apa-apa*

See you my friend.


It’s me

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Playing with words

Hello Friends,

It’s me again!

This time I want to share something unusual that happened on my facebook status. Not recently, but not to long ago. It began when I posted two line of sentences on my status page. Then, my friend added another line as a continuation of my first line and second line. It goes on and on, line after line and then it became some paragraphs that replied each other.  It’s in Indonesian language but I bet you will understand it. hahaha..
I actually give it the title “Bersamamu tanpa kata” which is means “Together with you without words”. As an implication of situatin that I was having at that time I guess.


Bersamamu tanpa kata seakan dunia tanpa masa
Walau hati bergelut rasa mencari kata namun tiada

Angin telah membawa kata dalam kantung malam.
Bersama bulan yang menggantung anggun menghias langit, lagi, kau dan aku menatap kosong [masih] tanpa kata.
Namun hati dan tatap mampu mengejewantahkan rasa yang tak ter-eja dalam KATA

Kutatap bintang malam dalam keangkuhannya yang lama, kusapu gelap di antaranya seakan aku mampu berucap.
Lagi kau dan aku menatap kosong [masih] tanpa kata. Namun bisu ini akan mengungkap cerita yang tak akan hilang oleh kata

Sayup perlahan ku tarik pandang dari bulan yang [masih] menggantung anggun menghias semesta.
Ku sematkan sebentuk harap di ujung pintu hati yang kian renta.
Meski tatap berpaut tanpa kata, namun hati sibuk menenun kisah lewat untai benang malam dengan simpul cinta SANG PEMILIK MALAM

Kusambut angin sepoi malam dalam ribaan tanpa kata, lembut dia pun mengayun mengantar hati dan jiwa ke negeri jauh angan meraja.
Jauh, jauh, ke negeri dimana hati berteriak mengungkap kisah yang telah terjalin mesra dan jiwa bernyanyi mengiring mentari senja.
Kembali aku menatap putri tanpa kata, menyiratkan seuntai asa tuk dibawa ke negeri CINTA dan HARAP

Angin mengantarku bertemu CINTA, juga HARAP yang menyambutku dengan senyum tersungging merias wajah.
Berjalan dan mengitari taman hati seorang Jaka, dalam remang purnama.
Meski rindu menggelayuti mata hingga terkatup, dalam gelap jelas kulihat raut tampan yang sedari tadi menatap dalam tak berucap kata.
[Masih] tanpa kata, kau dan aku, ‘kita’ berpeluh rindu dalam selimut malam

Kuhapus peluh rindu yang menghias malam antara kau dan aku, lalu kusibakkan gelayut selimut malam tuk ganti rayuan pagi sang mentari.
[Masih] tanpa kata, kau dan aku. ‘kita’ bergandeng tangan merapat jari, menggenggam CINTA dan HARAP meniti hari, meraih mimpi.

Mentari sibuk mencumbu langit di singgasana.
Di bawah nya, meski [masih] tanpa kata, jari-jari kita berpagut, langkah kita merajut.
Mari, mari, kita menari memainkan simfoni hari di atas panggung mimpi.
Hingga nanti, saat mimpi dalam genggaman dan terangkatnya jiwa kita.

Awan pergi dan tak lagi menghias langit, seakan cemburu akan mentari yang mencumbu langit di atasnya, pun di bawahnya aku dan kau dalam kemesraan [masih] tanpa kata.
Mari, sekali lagi, mari lenggakkan langkah ikut irama simfoni hidup, berlari mengejar indah masa dimana mimpi telah jadi nyata.
Tuk kemudian tersenyum bahagia menatap langit [lagi] tanpa kata

Mengacuhkan arakan awan yang melamat di ujung semesta. Kita terus merajut langkah dalam kemesraan romansa merah jambu yang ditiupkan TUHAN.
Kau dan aku, ‘kita’ [masih] mengukir jejak menjemput mimpi di depan cahaya kotak berukuran 22 inchi.
Aku janji padamu, esok atau lusa kita bertemu di sini, di bawah payung cakrawala dengan membawa rajut mimpi yang telah terbungkus elok dalam kantung hati.
Tunggu sebentar, aku hendak membantu bulan bersolek, agar tampak molek di langit malam ‘kita’ nanti.
[Masih] tanpa kata, simpul senyum memagut hati menjelma cinta.

Tersadar aku tentang banyaknya saksi bisu akan kehadiran diam kita [masih] tanpa kata.
Tentang langit dengan bulan yang dirindu, juga mentari yang yang dinanti, pun bintang yang gemilang, serta awan yang menawan tak mau ketinggalan.
Semua telah menjadi saksi bisu kemesraan ini. Tapi aku tahu juga pun kau tahu, kalau ada SATU yang tak akan tinggal diam.
DIA akan selalu berbicara, padamu juga padaku, dalam hening, pun dalam riuh rendah setiap suasana ‘kita’.
Bahkan saat diam kita [masih] tanpa kata, DIA juga berbicara kepadamu juga kepadaku dalam bahasa CINTA tak terbatas.
Mari, seperti sebelumnya, dan juga seterusnya, [diam] tanpa kata, untuk mendengar DIA bicara tentang CINTA.

Cepat-cepat kubuka kelambu senja.
Kubiarkan tubuhku jatuh dari bantalan awan hingga membentur lapisan terbawah awan putih.
Sakit, tapi kusadar kerumunan langit, bulan, bintang dan mentari tengah menatapku penuh cemburu akan kemesraan ‘kita’ yang tercipta [masih] tanpa kata.
Rapat-rapat, kurapatkan tubuhku di sisi mu.
Aku takut, takut DIA berpetuah CINTA yang harus DIPENGGAL oleh tajam nya kapak budaya dan logika.
Takut, aku takut menyelami samudra hati yang kian menawan di pelupuk.
[Masih] tanpa kata, diam-diam ku kecup senja merah jambu tepat di atas dahi mu dan beranjak lalu.
[Masih] tanpa kata yang tak pernah ter-eja, meski hati berpagut kuat, meski langkah terajut elok, lirih kudengar CINTA tak seharusnya hadir di sini.

Sejenak aku tersenyum melihatmu pergi lalu, hangat kecupanmu perlahan hilang. Kututup senja kunaikkan dian tuk terangi malam.
Kembali aku ke peraduan malamku.
Kata yang tar-eja itu, CINTA dan juga HARAP akan terbang tinggi di langit malam ke negeri angan permainan KATA.
Sampai jumpa lagi, kuharap lain waktu kita bertemu lagi bukan [lagi] tanpa kata.


Sometimes, I am amazed how the words come out easily from the brain and how easy it to play with them. On the other hand, we are struggling even to say a word of love.

What a life we have in the world that is unknown.

For the record, my friend whom I’m commenting each other is a girl, otherwise it would be awkward. 🙂

That’s all folks.

It’s me.

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Buck up!

Hola my friend. Happy New Year 2013!
A late greetings for you in this new year! (^__^)
Hope you have a pleasant new year and a bright start. Wish you a very good year ahead and a complete life in love.

As for me, I started this year with nothing special, same as last year, I’ve been avoided to make some lists or resolutions of things that I would like to have and to do.
As from experiences I failed and I am afraid do the same mistakes again. People were exciting to start their resolutions, yet I found myself empty.
Now, 2 weeks has passed. At one point I realized, time flies so fast and I need to buck up myself.

On the first day of new year, as I say greetings to my family, first question that came up is “Will it be this year?” I said “No, perhaps it’s next year”.
For some reasons I want to believe that I will do good this year, do different things from the past, and get something accomplished.
But the fact I’ve been avoided to make any resolutions would have made it unreachable.

I’ve been thinking lately about the state where I am now. It seems I have no big dream anymore. I have lost path on my way to the future where I was dreamed. Not to mention, my heart has lost its owner perhaps. As I live my life up to now, trying to analyze it part by part, little by little I understand things.
It once said “There are things in life that will not change though you are there to make change”. It’s not saying that you do bad or good but life is a mystery to all kind.

Lately, my thought has been consumed by this world and its happiness. My hands wanted to grab what I supposed to get but I could not.
My heart has rotten its pureness and is losing its light.
What else could be worse? Years you’ve seen it, but you could do nothing to fix it or you have nothing to say unless in your thought.

Perhaps this would be the cloudiest story I had.
Stay fresh my friend, be healthy and be happy for your life!

It’s Me!

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Live Long and Prosper!

Hola my friend!
How’s there? Anything exciting on this last day of 2012? Hope you have something exciting to do.
As for me, I have nothing in particular that really exciting, apart from morning meeting with Prof, I have done nothing to this hour. LOL
So, I write this short line to you, to say have a good day on this last day of 2012, and have an exciting year in 2013!

Live long and prosper!

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Forgiving others, surely is one of the most difficult things in this world. We as a human tend to angry with the things that is not along with our understanding. Moreover, because of that, we tend to hate people because doing what is wrong in our eyes. Especially when things wrong and it is related to us. Not to mention we are keeping our hearts for remembering the bad things that others did in the past.

I have experienced this kind of situation recently, or probably not recently, perhaps it happened for long time already. In so many situations, I have tried to keep telling myself that I had forgive others for what they have done wrong to me in the past. In some cases, it’s easy to get rid of those hatred but sometimes, there are some hatred that even you keep telling yourself that you had forgive them, but it appeared sometimes in certain situation towards person who did wrong to you.

For now, I realized there are several people that I’m not fully forgive even though I had been telling myself to forgive and I thought that I had forgave them. Yes, that’s the situation that I am facing now.

I have wanted to tell personally towards people I still have grudge but usually it’s just ends there. Not just once perhaps so many times. I just wanted to tell them that what they had done to me sometimes has brought me to the things that I don’t want even until now. And sometimes I want to blame them for that. But for this thing I realized, I am not the one to blame people and I am not the one to make people guilty for what the wrong thing they had done to me.

I don’t know and I can’t really tell what I should do for these. Seeing what had happened and experiencing all of these not makes my life feel happy and peace. Peace and happiness are seemed far away from me since this forgiving others thing pop up inside of me.

Yes, it’s one thing about forgiving others. But the most difficult thing for me now is forgiving myself. Reconcile with oneself surely is one the most difficult things to face. Since I had done all of things that I had mentioned above, I do find it difficult to forgive myself.

“ But my happiness was poisoned by my doubts. Lord, have mercy on me! Lord, have mercy on me! Lord, have mercy on me! “

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Things are just getting serious

Hola my friend.

Are u there? Y U no answer? 😦


Recently, things are just getting serious. I kind a losing my appetite, my mouth tastes bad, bitter, don’t know why but it happens. Though, I still eat and not pass the meal, but still I feel like my mouth want to taste something and I don’t really know what it is. Besides, I have no money for the food I want and it’s not here in Korea either.
To make it more serious, I now can’t sleep at night until 5am or 6 am. I have tried so hard to sleep by turn of all things, a computer, TV, and lamp, but still couldn’t sleep. So, last Sunday was the climax I think, I went to the church without sleep the night before. Amazingly, I didn’t feel sleepy while service. Probably, the coffee thing did its job. 🙂

Either I become better or worst, I want to make it happens and start it this month.
There are things I can handle and there are things I can’t. Probably most of them can not.

Hmm.. just to make it short. I just want to proof something to myself and I really want it so here I am to say “good luck” for me 😀

It’s me

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