26th was the day of my 2 years in Korea.
It’s been 2 years since I came Korea for pursuing my dream – though I’m not sure about it now. Come to Korea without really know what will you do for study or what exactly will you learn, certainly will lead you facing several task that you really not understand or in short you have no idea what you are doing.
I have passed 2 years in study, did this and that in the experiment, wrote this and that for conference, spoke this and that too in conference, seminar, etc. But still I’ve accomplished nothing in terms of achievements. I know what should be done while doing this, but still I don’t really understand what it means.
As the second year of my study, I was forced to do more than the first year I was here. Not only because my Professor had asked me to do many things but even for myself, I want to do something that I can accomplished. In the end, I’ve done things but accomplished nothing. What exactly should I do and what exactly the condition I have to is the thing that still running in my head.
I found myself drown and moreover I don’t even know what my goal now. I have separated from the world I engage to and have astray from the path I should have to. Therefore, I am not what I want and I’m not what I should be. I need a turning point, but still I am walking and running on the circle path that has drown me up to now. I need help.
Two years has passed and more years to come. I need a change. I need a helper. I want to be the best of me. I must do what have to be done. Yes, I need my God. I have separated from Him, I have pushed Him away from my heart, I have done terrible things that hurt His heart. I just too scared; I am a hypocrite after all.